As a young child you know nothing.
You think you know everything about life, but in a harsh reality you know nothing of the everlasting cruel world right outside your door.
You do not know how people are thinking, how they are feeling, or what decisions they might make.
The voices you hear outside your door,
Are the decisions that will change you for life.
You then start to realize that your world has changed.
Then it hits you.
Like a venomous snake sinking its fangs into its prey, and you feel the acidic pain, knowing
its the truth. A twisted shock of betrayal swells up deep inside you. And
You understand what real pain is, and desperately wish
that it would just go away.
Wishing the pain was quick,
and accurate like a dagger but in reality is much better,
Than slow acidic venom in your veins that is slowly killing you:
the truth.
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15 comments:
*Hugs* That's not emo at all... ^_^ No, it's really good! Very descriptive and real. And it can relate to everyone.
Wow Elliot! thats really deep. *snaps fingers* i like the simile about the snake and its prey :) very good description, but painful lol much love darlin'
-Missy
Very deep. I liked the idea of not knowing anything and then being struck by the truth, it kind of reminded me of the loss of innocents that everyone experiences sometime in there life.
dun dun dun....
hehe =] love the metaphors and or / similes
it takes a hold of your collar like an opponent in a fight, shuffling you around and beating the common sense in to you.
like reality often does.
i like the descriptiveness in your poem. it definatly paints a picture in my head.
elliot. blog buddy!♥
*snaps* this is deep.
i like this, this is really awesome. your poem is really true. but its kind of vague. like, i don't really understand what this poem is about. like, its a good poem, i'm not saying it isn't, but i don't really understand WHAT?? like, the truth about what? you use really good , similie.. about the snake.... and the prey.
really good. 'tis really well written, but i think you might need to elaborate..
and it really does explain what its like... as a child and stuff.
yea, don't think i'm being mean about saying to elaborate!!
lyl!♥
♥chandelle
now comment my poem.
I like the imagery of this poem. It all comes back to the central idea that the truth hurts. Nice job.
I loved the imagery
the similie you used
about the venom spoke
volumes. I thought
that the poem was
just a little confusing,
but overall awesome.
I love it! It is so true. It's a reality that everyone hits at one point in their lives. Very good! :)
This is super deep. I think the simile you used was a brilliant one.
well everyone sorry my poem didn't explain its self. my poem is about my parents breaking up. And how it devistated me as a kid.
-Elliot
Wow are you talking to me? this was very good and its true how when were younger we think we know everything. Do you remember the day u realized u didn't?
i love how you describe things! it awesome!
i love it!
the venomous snake..
its awesome!
greAT STUFFLES! lol
comment mine!!
-mathias
hey elliot♥
wow so when you had told me last monday after class that tit was about your parents divorce, i didnt really see it, like i told you it seemed a little vague, but now i can see it more, but it stil has that effect thing going on where it could apply more to one thing, depending on the readers perspective. i really like that. i like the part about the voices outside your door, or something like that... that part changed didn't it?
well, yea. you are a good writer, and now i can see more a little kid scared because he doesn't understad his parents divorce.
♥chandelle
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